Books

I rarely think about anything that I would consider worthwhile, or at least, embarrassing enough to write for you blogger friends. That is why I am so slack about updating this thing, although in my mind, i have high expectations for what it would potentially someday be - totally personalized, completely cute, full of witty stories from my thrilling life, and eventually video friendly. To give you insight into why it is not like that already, i need only say three words: youth ministry major.
Unfortunately, i am falling into the category of a slacker youth min. major, something that i swore i would never become, but sadly have. My normally clean but crazy room is never clean, i honestly can't remember the last time i cleaned it, my homework is never done, i'm late for class, and i spend all of my time watching Fringe on Hulu. By the way, friends, Fringe is amazing.

However, I feel like in the past i've been pretty good about keeping up with things like my own personal journals (yes, i kept more than a few of them), and i'll be sharing some pieces from my first journal, of any substance, that is - relatively speaking. Beforehand, something that I found when i was looking for my journals is my list of books that i read for two is years. I had a plan, at one time, to read 52 books in 52 weeks. The plan merged into 26 books in 52 weeks, thinking that i wouldn't have enough time to read a book a week and keep up with school. Little did i know that i would actually read 40 books in 52 weeks. Sad that i came so close but couldnt quite finish. Anyhow, here is my list, much more extended since the year finished in 2007.
1. A Million Little Pieces - Frey
2. My Friend Leonard - Frey
3. Tuesday's With Morrie - Albom
4. Huck Finn - Twain
5. The Great Gatsby - Fitzgerald
6. A Heartbreaking Tale of Staggering Genious - Eggars
7. Short Stories - Fitzgerald
8. The Cat Who Lived High - Braun
9. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Hadden
10. God's Debris - Adams
11. This Side of Paradise - Fitzgerald
12. Through Painted Deserts - Miller
13. The Poisonwood Bible - Kingsolver
14. Blue Highways - Heatmoon
15. Madame Bovary - Flaubert
16. Running With Scissors - Burroughs
17. The Cerial Murders - Mott Davidson
18. Waiting - Ginsberg
19. The Face of God - Myers
20. The Moonstone - Collins
21. The Painting of Dorian Grey - Wilde
22. Survivor - Pahlinuick
23. Benito Cereno - Melville
24. The Sound and the Fury- Faulkner
25. Savage Innequalities - Kozol
26. Two Nations - Hacker
27. Nickel and Dimed - Ehrenreich
28. The Torn Skirt - Godfrey
29. Mrs. Dalloway - Woolfe
30. Hamlete - Shakespeare
31. Guildenstern and Rosencrants Are Dead - Stoppard
32. My Name is Asher Lev- Pottok
33. Gifts - LeGuin
34. The Eyre Affair - Fford
35. The Historian - Kostova
36. Lullaby - Palahniuk
37. In the Lake of the Woods - O'Brien
38. Four Souls - Eridrech
39. A Raisin in the Sun - Hansberry
40. The Piano Lesson - Wilson
41. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Vernes
42. The Things They Carried - O'Brien
43. Wuthering Heights - Bronte
44. jay's Journal
45. Go Ask Alice
46. Out of the Black Shadows - Lungu
47. Kite Runner - Hosseini
48. The Tempest - Shakespeare
49. A Thousand Splended Suns - Hosseini
50. Eragon - Paolini
51. Crank - Hopkins
52. Agatha Raisin and the Haunted House - Beaton
53. The Piano Tuner -Mason
54. Geographer's Library - Kindle
55. Year of Secret Assignments
56. The Eight -Neville
57. Rumpole and the Primrose Path - Mortimer
58. The Cat Who Went Underground - Braun
59. The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal - Braun
60. The Cat Who Went into a Closet - Braun
61. Inside the Jihad - Nasir
62. Grayson - Cox
63. Rumpole's First Omnibus - Mortimer
64. The River of Doubt - Millard
65. Twilight
66. New Moon
67. Come Back 0 Fontain
68. The Secret Life of Bees - Monk Kidd
69. Pretend You're Invisible - Higgins Clark
70. Eclipse
71. Such a Pretty Girl - Wiess
72. Perks of Being a Wallflower - Chbosky
73. Why We're Not Emergent - Deyoung and Kluk

Obviously, I've read much more since this time, however, i ran out of space on my paper and stopped recording my books :\

4 am

I love caffeine. Maybe I love caffeine too much. I feel like it has become impossible for me to fall asleep organically these days. There's a strong, and bad, combination of having gone for a solid day without caffeine and then jumping right back into my normal 5 sodas and 2 coffees a day, having been sick for 2 weeks now (i forget, is this my third cold, or is it just impossible for me to get well?), not being able to breathe for any reason without being completely stuffy - i mean, come on, how many times an hour can a person blow their nose??- having taken, for two nights in a row, cold medicine to make myself fall asleep, having had a really fantastic night, something which never ceases to keep me up at night - go figure- and of course, there's the whole thing where i have been working out muscles that have been seriously neglected in the course of the past three months and so therefor hurt like crazy right now, leaving me feeling like i've been run over by a huge truck at 4 am, thinking that there's no way i'm going to be any more awake for my 8 am spiritual formation class than I was on monday when I woke up and found out that the tylenol night time medicine that I had taken did NOT fully wear off.
My teacher will be so thrilled.

So here I am, blogging world, 4 am and no sleep in sight. Perfect, you say, now you can update us on your life.
I bought the 40D tonight, something that fills me with great satisfaction. It's an amazing camera, the clarity difference between the 40D and my XTi is astounding, and it just feels right when I hold it. Paul was right, there's a huge difference between the plastic feeling of a lower end camera and the more solid feel of a higher end camera, and that is something that I love. I honestly cannot wait to have Paul's lens on my camera; the 50 mm f/1.8 is a thing of beauty and I'm sure i'll be totally blown away by the wide angle.
My friends and I have finally decided where we're going for spring break, and I'm thrilled to say that Hawaii has never sounded so good :D the hotel looks amazing, the view looks unbelievable, and everything that my mom has told me is just eating away at my patience; how will I ever wait 6 more weeks?! The flight is something like 10 hours long, plus a 3 hour layover, plus another 1 ish hour flight. It will be the longest flight/day of my life, but honestly I couldn't think of a better way to spend it, knowning that you're going to go to bed that night in Hawaii, the most beautiful place on earth.
I've come to terms with some friend things lately, as well. I've become more independant, friend wise, and I think that is a good thing. We'll see how things pan out, I really hate how I get my hopes up for good changes in my life, and then over think things until I realize that I'm really disappointed in how things turned out. But so far, so good.

On the other hand

i could screw things up in one day.

On indecision

I have such a hard time making decisions. And I don't mean just the tough decisions that take a lot of work, I mean everything from a favorite color (I don't have one) to a favorite band/song/style of music/book/class i'm taking/photographic style/photographer...the list goes on and on and on. I guess the whole indecision thing carries over into the big decisions as well. In the past, I think it's been much easier for my indecision to live behind the scenes in my life because somehow everything just always seemed to fall into place without any real effort on my part. Last night, in class, we went around and talked about what our plans are for the fall - in light of tufw closing in May. I was alone, totally alone, the only person in the entire class that could honestly say that I had no idea, not even a hint of an idea, not even an inknling of a clue as to what I even want to do, where I want to go, or if I want to go at all. I'm not used to being the one that isn't put together. I'm not used to being the one without a clue. I AM used to having all my stuff in order ages in advance of everyone else, which is probably why they all voted me into the position of team leader after I left. Something about being organized...hmm. :P

But, anyway, what I'm coming to terms with is that when I sit back and allow things to happen, they do. When I stop and wait and listen to what's going on around me, listen to what God's saying, when I really stop and just let my life play out instead of overanalyzing everything and trying to pin down the next thing, stuff seems to work out on it's own. So, I'm not stressing. I mean, obviously I am, but I'm not writing in all the minor details. I'm letting it happen. And it feels freeing.

A little friendly advice

Let me impart some hard earned wisdom on you, my friends. If you feel the need to go skinny dipping in the hot tub while it's clearly 10 degrees outside, make sure that you are 100% healthy in the first place. Don't run across the cold snow in your bare feet, don't sit in the hot tub and laugh at how there are icicles in your wet hair, don't stare at the sky and wonder when the snow will get here. Simply put, just. don't. do. it. And above all, if you have a cold to begin with, do not run outside and laugh at how the air hurts to breath, don't sit in the hot tub wearing nothing but your birthday suit for an hour, don't go inside and forget to dry your hair, don't take a shower and then leave your wet hair freezing and wet all night long. Instead, stay at home. Stay in bed, stay under the warm, warm covers, drink hot tea, take medicine, don't go outside for any reason. Just stay put.


Honestly. This is the worst cold of my life. (worth it, completely)